My regular readers will know that I have consistently argued that children should be allowed to enjoy their childhood without the relentless pressure of academia. However, the reality is this—if you are a student in India, studies are not merely a part of life; they often define it. Whether we like it or not, exams, grades, and the expectation to keep up with the curriculum demand a significant portion of a child’s time.
That’s the paradox we grapple with at home.
How do you let a child be a child and ensure they don’t fall behind in a system that doesn’t slow down for anyone?
My daughter, Sara and I have a lot in common. We both love books, non-academic. And, truth be told, neither of us has ever been the studious type.
In school, I’d look for every excuse to dodge studying. Sara’s no different. If left alone, she’d either be lost in a novel or absorbed in her latest art project—anything but schoolwork.
For years, my wife, Gargi, and I let her be. We believed childhood should be about exploration and joy, not rote learning. And for a while, that approach worked. However, as Sara moved up the grades, the gaps in her studies began to widen.
And gaps, when left unchecked, become chasms.
The Turning Point: A Mother’s Resolve
We had a choice—either believe everything would magically fall into place or step in before it was too late.
Enter Gargi.
She took matters into her own hands, quite literally. Instead of hoping Sara would find her way, she became her study companion. Every day after school, they sat together, poring over textbooks and assignments. Slowly, almost imperceptibly at first, things began to shift.
Sara, who once resisted any structured studying, now spends a couple of hours every evening with her mother guiding her. It hasn’t been easy—with battles, sulking, and the frequent hot and cold war between mother and daughter. But the results are undeniable.
Sara is no longer terrified of school subjects. Her confidence has started to grow. And though she still has a long way to go, the difference is palpable.
The Unshakable Enemy: Silly Mistakes
If there is one enduring struggle, it is this—silly mistakes.
Ask her to solve a tricky arithmetic problem, and she’ll nail the steps. But then, almost predictably, she’ll miscount something minor and end up with the wrong answer.
It’s frustrating. For her. For Gargi and me. Even for her teachers.
And yet, here’s the thing about habits—they change only when the individual practising them is determined to alter them.
For now, we wait. We guide. We hope.
Are You in the Same Boat?
Parenting is a strange mix of knowing when to step in and when to step back.
Let kids be kids, but also equip them with the discipline they need to navigate the real world.
At home, we’re still trying to find the balance. Perhaps you are, too. But if there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s this—sometimes, love means stepping back and allowing them to explore. At other times, love means sitting beside them, night after night, ensuring they don’t give in.
Because one day, they’ll thank you for it. Even if today, they roll their eyes in protest.
About Me
I am a thinker at all times. I see, I think. I hear, I think. I read, I think. Every weekend I write. I would love to know what you think.