When the biggest stress was your maths exam next week or which friend you’d sit next to in class? When “responsibility” meant cleaning your room, and any real-world problem felt far away—because it was?
I used to think that our childhood was simpler because life itself was simpler back then.
But I’ve come to realise something that changed the way I look at those years:
It wasn’t life that was simple. It was us.
The Pressure Was There. We Didn’t See It.
We often believe our parents had it easier. That they weren’t juggling the stress, uncertainty, and anxiety we carry today. But they did. We just didn’t feel it—because they never let us.
As kids, we were shielded from the emotional landmines adults walk through every day. Bills, family conflicts, health worries, deaths, demanding relatives, strained friendships—none of this reached us.
That’s what childhood is. A beautiful bubble made possible by someone else carrying the weight for you.
Reality Hits When the Torch is Passed
After my father passed away and my mother could no longer manage the way she once did, something shifted. I had to step into their shoes. Suddenly, I wasn’t just dealing with my work stress, personal obligations, or parenting duties—I was also handling things they once took care of quietly, without complaint.
That’s when I truly understood the load they carried. And the grace with which they held it.
Now, in middle age, that baton is firmly in my hand.
The Duties You Never Trained For
It’s not just about your own to-do list anymore.
You’re showing up for:
-
Family expectations
-
Professional deadlines
-
Friends who need support
-
Staff who rely on your leadership
-
Neighbours who call with unexpected emergencies
-
Loved ones going through grief, loss, or illness
-
You’re expected to be available, present, composed—and somehow still smiling
And unlike weddings, birthdays, or promotions, the more challenging moments—loss, grief, farewells—don’t come with a warning. But you still have to show up.
A Whirlwind Weekend
Just last week, I was again reminded how unpredictable and demanding life can be once you’re “in charge.”
I had planned a short family trip to Odisha. My daughter had just finished her exams, and we all craved a breather. I was also planning to bring my mother back to Delhi with us.
But the universe had other plans.
A close friend’s mother passed away the night before our trip.
My sister’s mother-in-law breathed her last the next day.
What was meant to be a peaceful break turned into a whirlwind of visits, funerals, logistics, family time, and a dash of sightseeing squeezed in for my daughter’s sake.
Four-and-a-half days. Multiple cities. Endless miles. Varied emotions.
It wasn’t a short break. It was life in motion. Honest, raw, relentless.
The Invisible Load of Middle-Age
Middle age doesn’t come with a user manual.
You’re expected to be everywhere, manage everything, soothe everyone, and never miss a beat. You wear many hats—often at the same time—and you switch them without warning.
No one teaches you how to do it. You do because that’s what adulthood demands.
And most days, you manage. You keep it together. But on others, it feels like the seams might tear.
The Childhood Illusion
So yes, life seemed simpler when we were younger. But it wasn’t because there were fewer problems. It was because someone else was carrying the weight. And now, if life feels heavy, it’s because you’re carrying it.
You’ve become that person—the one shielding, supporting, and showing up.
Your Takeaway
The world doesn’t always see the invisible weight you carry. But you know it’s there. So, give yourself some credit.
-
You may not get everything right, but you’re trying.
-
You may not make everyone happy, but you’re showing up.
-
You may not have all the answers, but you’re asking the right questions.
And if you haven’t hit this phase of life yet—soak up the simplicity. It won’t last forever.
But when your turn comes, remember: grace doesn’t come from knowing it all—it comes from caring enough to keep trying.
About Me
I am a thinker at all times. I see, I think. I hear, I think. I read, I think. Every weekend I write. I would love to know what you think.