And for the past two decades, I’ve led without shouting—— mostly.
I believe that calmness isn’t a lack of strength. I don’t lead with volume or drama, and that approach has mostly worked well.
But not always.
When Silence is Misread
Some people interpret calm as clueless. Some see silence and assume it means you aren’t paying attention. And some, unfortunately, take your patience as a green signal to push boundaries.
Let me explain with two common scenarios I’ve lived through:
1. The Team Member Who Gets Too Comfortable
Some assume they can cut corners because I don’t breathe down people’s necks or micromanage. They slack off, miss deadlines, or think no one’s watching.
They’re wrong. I watch, I listen, and I wait.
And when the line is crossed one too many times, I act. Quietly. Decisively. And with clarity that leaves no room for confusion.
2. The Peer Who Oversteps
Then there are those who bypass you, make decisions that aren’t theirs to make, step on your toes, and expect you to stay silent.
The first time, you might let it pass.
But when they see no resistance, they test your limits again. And again. Until you’re forced to draw the line they should never have crossed.
My Approach to Pushback
I have a long fuse. Always have. But once it burns out, I don’t light it again.
When I’ve made up my mind that someone has knowingly taken advantage of the space I offered, I act—without delay or drama. For them, the shift can feel drastic. But for me, it’s been a slow burn they didn’t notice.
And no, I don’t need to do it publicly. But I do it firmly.
Being nice doesn’t mean being a pushover.
Lesson From the Softest Voice I've Known
One of my former bosses—the softest-spoken leader I’ve ever met—taught me a valuable lesson.
You had to lean in to hear her. That’s how gentle she was. But if you messed up, her words—still measured and quiet—would land with the weight of a thunderclap.
No shouting. No drama. Just firm feedback that made you pause, reflect, and correct.
She didn’t need to command the room. Her dignity did that for her.
The Takeaway
There’s a limit to everything—even patience.
Quiet leaders aren’t weak. They’re watching. They’re thinking. And when needed, they act. But don’t mistake restraint for indifference. Don’t confuse kindness with complacency. And never, ever mistake silence for ignorance.
Because when a quiet leader decides to speak up, the noise they make can change everything.
About Me
I am a thinker at all times. I see, I think. I hear, I think. I read, I think. Every weekend I write. I would love to know what you think.