If that question made you uncomfortable, you’re not alone.
Many people carry this quiet ache. They don’t always say it out loud, but it surfaces in conversations, in comparisons, in casual remarks that begin with, “You know, back then…”
The Story We Tell Ourselves
It often sounds like this:
“She was just a desk staffer when I was a senior supervisor.”
“She used to come to me whenever she got stuck.”
“I helped him learn the ropes.”
“And now… look where he is.”
There’s often a pause after that last line. A sigh. Sometimes, a half-laugh that doesn’t quite hide the discomfort.
Why This Feeling Creeps In
Let’s acknowledge something uncomfortable but human.
When someone younger moves ahead of us, it shakes our sense of identity. It makes us question our choices, our pace, our decisions. And instead of sitting with that discomfort, we often retreat into the past. The past feels safe and important again, but living there comes at a cost. Here’s the part we don’t like hearing: The fact that someone else surged ahead while you didn’t is rarely about luck alone.
More often, it’s about:
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their action
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your inaction
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their willingness to adapt
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your comfort with the familiar.
And that’s not an accusation. It’s an invitation to reflect.
Because clinging to who you once were doesn’t help you become who you still can be.
Why This Mindset Hurts You
When people repeatedly assert their past seniority, it doesn’t elevate them. It does the opposite. It makes them sound stuck, look insecure, and their present smaller than it actually is. And the irony is this: The more you diminish someone else’s growth, the more you underline your own stagnation.
That’s a harsh truth, but a liberating one if you accept it.
A Moment I Still Carry With Me
More than two decades ago, a young lady studying abroad came to intern briefly at the organisation where I worked. I was asked to show her around the facility.
That was it. Nothing dramatic. Just a moment in time.
Today, she is the Member of Parliament for my constituency, and I couldn’t be prouder.
Remember, someone else’s rise is not your fall, unless you choose to see it that way. The other way to approach it is with pride.
You decide.
About Me
I am a thinker at all times. I see, I think. I hear, I think. I read, I think. Every weekend I write. I would love to know what you think.