Let’s face it: we’ve all told a fib or two. Whether to avoid an awkward situation or save face, lies are woven into our everyday lives. But here’s the real question: Why do people lie? And how should we respond when they do?
The Art of the “Little” Lie
People lie for various reasons, but the small ones often surprise me the most. You know the type—someone tells you they’ve already read that book, watched that show, or been to that restaurant. And then, you realise they’re bluffing. It’s like they’re playing a trivia game, and every point matters.
Why do they do it?
Maybe they don’t want to look out of touch or less knowledgeable. Maybe they think it makes them seem more interesting. But in the grand scheme of things, what does it achieve?
I remember when a close connection said he had been to a popular new cafe. He went on and on about how amazing the coffee was, only for me to discover later that he had never even set foot inside! It happens because you don’t want to feel left out of the conversation. Or when you think you will be judged.
Funny, right? Because when people find out you lied, you risk being judged anyway.
But that’s the thing with these little lies—they often come from insecurity. We’ve all been there, feeling like we don’t measure up, and sometimes it’s easier to fake it than face it.
But what if we shifted our mindset? What if we were honest about what we haven’t done or don’t know? Trust me, it’s much more liberating.
The Bigger Lies: A Different Ballgame
Now, we all know there are lies, and then there are lies. The kind that can shake up relationships, create misunderstandings, or cause real damage. These are the ones that make you feel a pit in your stomach when you uncover them.
Remember the famous Bhiku Mhatre said, in the cult movie Satya, “Jis Sach se kisi ki jaan jaaye, woh saala kaahe ka sach”. Loosely translated, it means: What’s the point of telling the truth if it ruins a life?
Why do people tell these more significant lies? Often, it boils down to fear—fear of consequences, fear of judgment, fear of failure.
The Why Behind the Lie
So, what’s the psychology here? Why do people bend the truth, whether it’s a small exaggeration or a significant cover-up?
1. To Protect Themselves: Many lies stem from self-preservation. Whether it’s avoiding embarrassment or escaping punishment, lying can feel like a shield.
2. To Fit In: Have you ever noticed how people lie to blend into a group? No one wants to feel like the odd one out, and sometimes, lying seems like the easiest way to avoid that.
3. To Control the Narrative: Some people lie to control how others see them. They create an image or persona that feels more desirable than their reality.
4. Fear of Conflict: How often have you heard someone say, “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings”? Sometimes, lying feels like the less painful option, even though it rarely is.
How I Respond to Lies
So, what do I do when someone lies to me? My first instinct used to be frustration, especially when it was an unnecessary or trivial lie. But over time, I have mostly let it go.
I don’t call them out and embarrass them. But instead, I let it slide, realising their insecurity was at play.
Why, you may wonder?
I don’t feel it’s worth creating tension over a minor fib.
Regarding more significant lies, I’ve learned to approach the situation with curiosity rather than condemnation. Often, people lie not because they’re evil or malicious but because they’re afraid of showing vulnerability.
No excuses can be offered for compulsive liars who have made a habit out of lying.
What We Can Learn
Here’s the thing: almost everyone lies. We’ve all told that harmless little fib or exaggerated story to make it sound more exciting. But what if we took a step back and started embracing the truth—no matter how mundane or uncomfortable it might be?
Think about it: What would happen if, instead of lying to fit in, we admitted that we hadn’t read that book or watched that show? What if we opened up about our challenges instead of pretending everything was fine at work? What if we allowed people to be honest with us without fearing judgment?
Lying, in its many forms, often reflects the parts of ourselves that we’re not ready to show the world. But honesty, as hard as it might be, can lead to more authentic relationships, deeper connections, and a stronger sense of self.
Honesty is more than telling the truth—it’s about embracing who we are, flaws and all. Whether it’s the small lies we tell to fit in or the more significant lies we use to protect ourselves, each one is an opportunity to reflect on what we’re trying to avoid.
So next time you catch yourself or someone else lying, pause and ask: What’s happening here?
Though sometimes uncomfortable, you might find that the truth sets you free.
About Me
I am a thinker at all times. I see, I think. I hear, I think. I read, I think. Every weekend I write. I would love to know what you think.