It’s like we’re from two different worlds. Maybe your folks were the stoic, ‘seen but not heard’ type, and you find yourself bombarding your kids with hugs and “I love yous” so often they might start to think it’s your catchphrase.
If you’re still figuring out the whole ‘express-your-feelings’ game or if you’ve nailed it, hats off to you. Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, and even if it did, let’s be honest, who has the time to read it?
A Tale of Two Generations: From Reserved to Open Affection
Growing up, my relationship with my dad was semi-formal. There was no overt expression of love, and we didn’t even wish each other happy birthdays.
A quiet card slipped under the door on one or two occasions was about as celebratory as we got.
Fast forward to my dad in his seventies, and something shifted. I found myself caring for him, the roles reversed, and those years of silent birthdays morphed into moments of open affection—too little, too late.
I decided to flip the script with my daughter, Sara. Not a day goes by without me telling her she’s loved, maybe twice, maybe ten times. Overkill? Possibly. But I’d rather err on too much than too little.
Yet, as much as I try to soften the edges, that strict, temper-losing side of me does rear its head. I inherited this from my father. And guess what? Sara picked that up, too. Kids are like sponges, soaking up our best and worst.
What Shaped Our Parenting Style
Here’s a twist, though—unlike the bustling households of the past with siblings aplenty, it’s just Sara, Gargi, and me. That exclusivity changes the dynamics, making her the sun in our family solar system. And yeah, sometimes she takes advantage of her solo status.
Sara is not just our one and only. We waited a while before she came along —nearly seven years into marriage. That wait shaped how we parent, filled with pent-up hopes and hyper-focused attention. Sometimes, I wish she had siblings, a buffer to temper our expectations and reality, expanding her universe beyond just us.
Balancing Then and Now
Reflecting on the childhood I had and the one Sara’s living, it’s a mix of envy and relief. There’s no perfect recipe for parenting. Maybe it’s about finding that middle ground where the joys of my past meet the freedoms of her present. It’s about creating memories that stick for the right reasons and learning from the ones you wish had played differently.
As you navigate your journey, whether you're knee-deep in diapers or navigating teen tantrums, it's not about replicating the past or reacting to it. It’s about crafting a future where love, in all its messy glory, is the headline, not the footnote.
Happy parenting!
About Me
I am a thinker at all times. I see, I think. I hear, I think. I read, I think. Every weekend I write. I would love to know what you think.